I need help removing her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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