i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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