chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
