i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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