So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
