I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
