Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
