I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Randomize
