you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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