Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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