He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
