If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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