Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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