i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
