At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
