just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
