I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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