I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
