Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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