Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is Oprah even human
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
