i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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