Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am puke
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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