So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
