so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
