White coat. Heels.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
