Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
