somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
