The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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