Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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