dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
