What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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