Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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