Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
