That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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