She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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