She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
