I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
