I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
