he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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