yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
