My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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