i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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