i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
