I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
