he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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