I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No subtext here. People are naked.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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