What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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