I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
