'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
