Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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