And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
